• Mental Health,  Relationship

    This Is The Reason Why We Can’t Be Friends Anymore

    First of all, I would like to say that it’s not your fault why we stopped being friends. It’s on me, it’s me who didn’t want to hang out with you anymore. Harsh? Yes, but I’m being honest. Previously,  I received a notification from Facebook about an acceptance of friend request. The truth is I don’t recall when I sent that friend request or whatsoever. That’s history now, as I no longer wanted to be associated with her. For the past few years, I tend to avoid meeting up with friends due to my problem with eating. Why do we have to eat whenever we are meeting each other ?…

  • Mental Health

    Coping With Mental Health Issues With A Poker Face

    “Let’s just keep pretending. Fake it until you make it.” The moment when you know that there are some issues with your mental health condition, you make the decision not to seek help and wear a mask over it. However, it’s already eating away at your soul. “Why won’t someone notice it?”, you may question at this point in time People often assumed we are truly happy when we aren’t. We wanted people to realise it and understand our situation . But, I guess it’s simply asking too much for another person to share your emotional burden. Nobody on earth should understand your emotional baggage, and they only go the…

  • Lifestyle,  Mental Health,  Relationship

    I Have A Question And I Need An Answer

    Why am I feeling so depressed? Can someone give me an answer? Sometimes, even my friends are able to detect I am a little bit off. They would ask me if I am alright before I even realise that I am not in the right state. When I realised it, I am already in deep trouble. It felt like my whole life was in a major crisis yet I was still trying to keep up a strong front. It isn’t a mood or attention seeking. It just happened out of nowhere or rather it was triggered by all events that were clustered together. Please help me. These are the the…

  • Mental Health,  Relationship

    I Hope That You Would Enjoy The Ride

    It’s not easy dating someone with anxiety. I get it. It’s not easy being with someone that has irrational fears that mean nothing to you. In fact, I sometimes wonder why normal people like you date people like us. But, what’s worse is dating someone who is ambitious and has anxiety. Why ? Ask anyone with an ambitious person who is anxious all the time.  It’s like a never ending rollercoaster ride… if you’re scared of heights. You don’t know what ticks us. You don’t understand what goes through our minds. Our daily struggles and our irrational fears. To you, it may seem like we’re making a mountain out of…

  • Lifestyle,  Mental Health

    My Relationship With Food

    To me, food is a very triggering and confusing existence. When you don’t have the ability to measure your calorie consumption, you panic. This is certainly the case for me. I only know what’s considered as full so I would just stuff myself with tons of food till my stomach can’t take it no more. I threw up and that’s when I know I eat a lot. If not, I will just keep stuffing myself with food. The cycle repeats itself until I am sick of tired. My friends called me the huge eater and I gladly accept the title. In fact, I am aware about the amount of food…

  • Mental Health,  Relationship

    Lacking Of Love And Needing Attention

    I didn’t know it’s a problem until someone told me they can’t give me the amount of attention and love I wanted. All I ever wanted is for someone to love me so badly and give me the kind of attention I need. What’s so difficult for the one I love to love me the same way I needed? Even though I’m independent in all ways, there’s still a part of me which wants to be loved too. It’s funny how most of my loved ones often tell me to just start asking for things and I should be able to get it. Yet, when I asked for it, people…

  • Mental Health,  Relationship

    Social Anxiety Kills My Perspective

    It’s no secret that I often suffered from social anxiety to the extent whereby I refused to meet most of my friends. I felt the pressure of looking perfect in my friend’s eye. They all looked so skinny and pretty. Most of all, I envied their confidence which I could never have it. Meeting them in the same setting makes me want to flee. I don’t fit in with them at all. My social anxiety withdraws me from my friends, and many would feel that I just burned bridges with them which I did not. I simply couldn’t be able to dine with any of them anymore. Whenever we arrange…

  • Family,  Mental Health

    Dear Parents, Please Stop Doing This To Your Children

    When I look into the mirror, I only see a failure: A daughter whom my parents have issues with. Yet, I like being every single moment of myself. It’s a beautiful piece of mess. Broken, ruined, never good enough in the eyes of my parents. So, to the parents out there, stop doing this – Comparing your own child with another child. I am an experimental product of failure in my mom’s eyes which has a lasting effect on me for the rest of my life. I am never going to be good enough for anyone including myself.  In my mom’s eyes, I was never the daughter she ever wanted:…

  • Mental Health,  Travel

    Travelling Didn’t Cure My Anxiety Issues

    I firmly believe that traveling is all about being adventurous, by I also kept you from the truth. Travel didn’t cure my anxiety issue or rather, it somehow made a worse impact on it. I have never spoken to people about it as they wouldn’t share the same perspective and I can understand why. When people talk about travelling, it’s mostly about its positive impact. But now, I am going to share a darker perspective. I have a high frequency of panic attacks. I love travelling alone as that’s the only time which I can do whatever I want to do and not feeling restricted. However, at the same time,…

  • Mental Health,  Relationship

    To The Man Who’s Dating Anxiety

    You might have seen her sitting in the dark room with tears streaming down her face right after exploding five minutes ago about how you drive 5mph over the speed minute. “That’s ridiculous!” you might say and many others. But, for people like us… people with anxiety… it’s not .  You might have seen her sitting quietly … staring into the far distance with a mix of emotions: panic, fear and many more that are so hard for anyone to describe. She might have tried telling you. She might have tried to explain what goes on in her mind. In reality, her mind is like a maze. There is only…